“We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are.Letting our past decide our future.
Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it’s our job to invent something better.”
Chuck Palahniuk
Monday, 16 July 2012
Tattoo
I also got a tattoo this year, something I've always thought I'd like but way to scared of the imagined pain. Anyway, my daughter booked me in with her tattooist, Steve A, for an after work consultation. They were so good making special arrangements for me, working after hours and sitting with me till the end. Thanks so much!
I wanted a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist.
The words meant a lot to me, they were a sort of mantra for getting out of the house and now I can see them all the time, and hold on to my them on my wrist for support.
Steve was patience itself, and really kind and very talented. He wrote out the words I wanted in the design I had in mind and it came out better than I ever imagined. It wasn't painful and I didn't get any after effects.
My fabulous tattooist Steve A.
I had to go into town for this, my son took me, and drove me home after, and my daughter sat with me, but the feeling of being trapped, which is what most agoraphobics get, was what I was most frightened of, but that didn't happen and when I got home I felt invincible!! and ready for anything.
Thanks to everyone for that great day.
I wanted a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist.
The words meant a lot to me, they were a sort of mantra for getting out of the house and now I can see them all the time, and hold on to my them on my wrist for support.
Steve was patience itself, and really kind and very talented. He wrote out the words I wanted in the design I had in mind and it came out better than I ever imagined. It wasn't painful and I didn't get any after effects.
My fabulous tattooist Steve A.
I had to go into town for this, my son took me, and drove me home after, and my daughter sat with me, but the feeling of being trapped, which is what most agoraphobics get, was what I was most frightened of, but that didn't happen and when I got home I felt invincible!! and ready for anything.
Thanks to everyone for that great day.
Saturday, 30 June 2012
Visits
I visited my son and his girlfriend and their baby son, I went to see all my childrens homes, great excitement and happiness being able to go and visit.
I don't drive any more so the visits weren't long, as I had to get there and back with my counsellor, but at least I made it out and I'm so glad now that I did as my eldest daughter and son have now moved away from the area and are much harder to visit.
I will write about the moves in another post.
Right, enough of that negative shit!
What have I done in this 60th year of mine?
Well, for one I achieved my goal of getting out of the house, and more than that, I got to see my youngest daughter walk across the stage to receive her MA! I didn't get to see her degree ceremony so this was a huge deal for me.
It was just the best feeling, to see her face happy that I had made it and could share in her success.
There was not a prouder person in that huge room than me, knowing what hurdles she had to surmount to get there, how much she fought her demons, threw off the chains of her past and proudly walked the walk across that stage, words cannot say how proud I am of her.
I wrote about at the time here
But I think it needs saying again in this my 60th year.
More to come!
What have I done in this 60th year of mine?
Well, for one I achieved my goal of getting out of the house, and more than that, I got to see my youngest daughter walk across the stage to receive her MA! I didn't get to see her degree ceremony so this was a huge deal for me.
It was just the best feeling, to see her face happy that I had made it and could share in her success.
There was not a prouder person in that huge room than me, knowing what hurdles she had to surmount to get there, how much she fought her demons, threw off the chains of her past and proudly walked the walk across that stage, words cannot say how proud I am of her.
I wrote about at the time here
But I think it needs saying again in this my 60th year.
More to come!
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Surrounded
While I slept, and after answering the questions put to me in the night by the plain clothes plods, things were happening at home.
My parents were contacted, don't ask me how the police knew, I guess I may have told them, but don't know. They had to go to my house but stay back till told what to do. Omg, the worst thing was my parents getting in on all this!!
They arrived to find the whole house surrounded by cops, some armed I think they said. My kids were inside with Mike, this is the worst of it, my kids getting caught up in all this shit. The police gained entry, some going over the wall at the back to stop Mike escaping, some going in the front door. He was standing by the sink in the kitchen, they rushed and grabbed him, handcuffing him and dragging him out. As any self respecting alcoholic would, he made a grab for his coat pocket on the way out in the vain hope of catching hold of the last of his cheap British sherry. He failed. They took him in to the cells and he was the knob head kicking his door and keeping me awake!
Back at the house, we'd been having wiring done, so some of the kitchen floor boards were up, there were bills heaped up on the side, the police searched everywhere. They eventually left.
Can't say how hard that was to write, knowing what my kids went through, not just then but every other sodding drunken night! If anyone reads this and has problems with drink, please get help, try to stop, don't wait till you've ruined and wasted lives.
Right, back at the cop shop, morning has come and I'm in the interview room.
Questioning: Have you got money problems, how bad are they? Showed me the notes about guns and bank vaults, asking me why I had them and had I been to the vault, did I have a gun? Why were there newspapers in my car and old overalls? All very innocent answers but you try telling them that!!
Mike had the same questions but of course he had form so they were less believing of him. In the end their enquiries led nowhere and they had to believe us and let us go.
They were actually not bad, and said we had a great family and to get the drink sorted out. I so wished we had. We walked out free, but dirty and grimy and hung over. We put off having a drink till later, we had to face the kids, that was worse than the police any day.
Today, I'm sober, so is Mike.
Maybe next time I'll tell of my Shirley Valentine trip. You try going to Greece with no passport and no money and stupidly drunk'
My parents were contacted, don't ask me how the police knew, I guess I may have told them, but don't know. They had to go to my house but stay back till told what to do. Omg, the worst thing was my parents getting in on all this!!
They arrived to find the whole house surrounded by cops, some armed I think they said. My kids were inside with Mike, this is the worst of it, my kids getting caught up in all this shit. The police gained entry, some going over the wall at the back to stop Mike escaping, some going in the front door. He was standing by the sink in the kitchen, they rushed and grabbed him, handcuffing him and dragging him out. As any self respecting alcoholic would, he made a grab for his coat pocket on the way out in the vain hope of catching hold of the last of his cheap British sherry. He failed. They took him in to the cells and he was the knob head kicking his door and keeping me awake!
Back at the house, we'd been having wiring done, so some of the kitchen floor boards were up, there were bills heaped up on the side, the police searched everywhere. They eventually left.
Can't say how hard that was to write, knowing what my kids went through, not just then but every other sodding drunken night! If anyone reads this and has problems with drink, please get help, try to stop, don't wait till you've ruined and wasted lives.
Right, back at the cop shop, morning has come and I'm in the interview room.
Questioning: Have you got money problems, how bad are they? Showed me the notes about guns and bank vaults, asking me why I had them and had I been to the vault, did I have a gun? Why were there newspapers in my car and old overalls? All very innocent answers but you try telling them that!!
Mike had the same questions but of course he had form so they were less believing of him. In the end their enquiries led nowhere and they had to believe us and let us go.
They were actually not bad, and said we had a great family and to get the drink sorted out. I so wished we had. We walked out free, but dirty and grimy and hung over. We put off having a drink till later, we had to face the kids, that was worse than the police any day.
Today, I'm sober, so is Mike.
Maybe next time I'll tell of my Shirley Valentine trip. You try going to Greece with no passport and no money and stupidly drunk'
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
Friday, 16 March 2012
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Nick Vujicic :: Life Without Limits :: Attitude is Altitude
Truly inspirational .. read his blog here
BIOGRAPHY OF A DETERMINED MAN reveals the compelling story of Nick Vujicic. From his childhood in Australia to his initial speaking engagements, witness Nick's long journey to understand himself and his place in this world. With multiple turning points and cycles of despair and glory, Nick learns how to rise above his circumstances and prevail.
BIOGRAPHY OF A DETERMINED MAN reveals the compelling story of Nick Vujicic. From his childhood in Australia to his initial speaking engagements, witness Nick's long journey to understand himself and his place in this world. With multiple turning points and cycles of despair and glory, Nick learns how to rise above his circumstances and prevail.
Saturday, 18 February 2012
From the Mail's GP, a deeply provocative confession
It's the Mail, I know, but I think he has a point.
Should I discover tomorrow that I have advanced, life-threatening cancer, I won’t go rushing to the doctors for a heavily invasive course of medical treatment. No, I will shut up my London surgery, head to my home in Norfolk, stock up on gin and tonic and have a jolly good time until I meet my end.
Like most doctors, I understand that much of the care we offer patients who have serious, life-threatening illnesses is ultimately futile.
Worse, it can involve many months of gruelling treatments that might possibly extend the length of one’s life, but do nothing for its quality ...
Should I discover tomorrow that I have advanced, life-threatening cancer, I won’t go rushing to the doctors for a heavily invasive course of medical treatment. No, I will shut up my London surgery, head to my home in Norfolk, stock up on gin and tonic and have a jolly good time until I meet my end.
Like most doctors, I understand that much of the care we offer patients who have serious, life-threatening illnesses is ultimately futile.
Worse, it can involve many months of gruelling treatments that might possibly extend the length of one’s life, but do nothing for its quality ...
Charged or Not?
I had forgotten I'd not finished this, life gets in the way.
Time scale - crashed car about 4pm
Probably put in cell not long after, eventually when I'd run out of cigarettes and made enough noise I laid on the hard plastic mattress and drifted off to sleep. Why do they have the heating up so high in there? If they reduced it a bit they could pay for some old people to have heat in their homes!
It was dark when two guys woke me up, it was like a dream, they were plain clothes and kept asking me about Mike, I told them what I knew and they left. I went back to sleep, was woken later by some other knob head kicking his door and shouting. It's obligatory behaviour it seems.
The next morning got breakfast, horrible sausage and something on a paper plate with plastic cutlery. Very hungover, felt grimy and dirty and wanted to go home. I asked the guy who brought the breakfast, 'why am I being kept here', he said he didn't know. Great!!
To cut to the chase: I was escorted to a room, two police officers there, might have been duty solicitor, can't really remember, I sat down and they explained about taping the interview, at this stage I was just tired, not really thinking of anything except to get home.
They put on the tape! Then brought exhibit bags out and showed me one by one, and told me they were investigating a series of armed robberies, that's why I'd been kept in overnight while they contacted different police forces for information!!
Me??! Me, you think I'm an armed robber?? I laughed, but I could see they were totally serious.
To be continued
Time scale - crashed car about 4pm
Probably put in cell not long after, eventually when I'd run out of cigarettes and made enough noise I laid on the hard plastic mattress and drifted off to sleep. Why do they have the heating up so high in there? If they reduced it a bit they could pay for some old people to have heat in their homes!
It was dark when two guys woke me up, it was like a dream, they were plain clothes and kept asking me about Mike, I told them what I knew and they left. I went back to sleep, was woken later by some other knob head kicking his door and shouting. It's obligatory behaviour it seems.
The next morning got breakfast, horrible sausage and something on a paper plate with plastic cutlery. Very hungover, felt grimy and dirty and wanted to go home. I asked the guy who brought the breakfast, 'why am I being kept here', he said he didn't know. Great!!
To cut to the chase: I was escorted to a room, two police officers there, might have been duty solicitor, can't really remember, I sat down and they explained about taping the interview, at this stage I was just tired, not really thinking of anything except to get home.
They put on the tape! Then brought exhibit bags out and showed me one by one, and told me they were investigating a series of armed robberies, that's why I'd been kept in overnight while they contacted different police forces for information!!
Me??! Me, you think I'm an armed robber?? I laughed, but I could see they were totally serious.
To be continued
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Horoscope for 8th February 2012
You could frighten yourself now because you feel bold enough to do things that you might normally pass by. Your uncharacteristic courage has others taking notice of your new sense of optimism, which inspires them to have more confidence in you. Your positive attitude can open doors that were previously closed, so be receptive to the support that comes your way today.
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Vanishing of the Bees - Beekeeper Leaks EPA Document.mp4
Why our bees are dying. If you are not familar with this dangerous phenomenal action that is occurring in the USA.
Sunday, 5 February 2012
The Boys in Blue
Fast forward a bit and Mark (name changed) started to drink in secret. I must have been so naive but looking back I can see where it started, but he was well into it by the time I really found out and confronted him about it.
Basically he said he's going to drink, if not at mine then somewhere else. So he drank, so did I, my kids were so disappointed.
He had strange moods, very up and down, manic, later diagnosed as manic depressive but at the time we didn't know this. So this generally nice and sweet person would suddenly switch and be violent and aggressive, he frightened me when he was like that.
Anyway, one day he disappeared, he'd only gone to see his mates but I panicked, like I did in those days, and drove round to find him. He was drinking with his mates. I joined in oblivious to the fact I still had to drive home.
His mates, at the hostel, said I could stay there till I was a bit more sober, but I was ok, I only staggered a bit.
We drove off down the road, turned right and the next thing I knew there was a massive noise and a tree was bent over my bonnet, steam rising from somewhere. I'd had a blackout. Mark dashed out .. shouting and trying to drag me out of the car. I insisted I could back it up and drive home still.
This was shown to be doubtful after the event when we saw the two front wheels staring at each other.
He dragged me out of the car and hit me, shouting what a fucking idiot I was. Two people walked past and must have phoned the police because the next thing I knew Mark had legged it and I'm speaking to the boys in blue.
Being drunk I wasn't too bothered by this, I thought I'll talk my way out easy. They had other ideas. I found myself in an office with the police going through my bag. I thought what a fucking cheek, and said so with the bravado of a bottle of vodka in me.
Now my bag is more of a suitcase with everything but the kitchen sink in it and boy oh boy did I leap out of the chair when they found my half bottle stashed at the bottom .. before they could move, I'd snatched it, opened it, and gulped down what was left, which annoyed them even more. That's when I found myself stuck in a vile dirty cell with fags but no lighter, how cruel is that?!
To be continued.
Basically he said he's going to drink, if not at mine then somewhere else. So he drank, so did I, my kids were so disappointed.
He had strange moods, very up and down, manic, later diagnosed as manic depressive but at the time we didn't know this. So this generally nice and sweet person would suddenly switch and be violent and aggressive, he frightened me when he was like that.
Anyway, one day he disappeared, he'd only gone to see his mates but I panicked, like I did in those days, and drove round to find him. He was drinking with his mates. I joined in oblivious to the fact I still had to drive home.
His mates, at the hostel, said I could stay there till I was a bit more sober, but I was ok, I only staggered a bit.
We drove off down the road, turned right and the next thing I knew there was a massive noise and a tree was bent over my bonnet, steam rising from somewhere. I'd had a blackout. Mark dashed out .. shouting and trying to drag me out of the car. I insisted I could back it up and drive home still.
This was shown to be doubtful after the event when we saw the two front wheels staring at each other.
He dragged me out of the car and hit me, shouting what a fucking idiot I was. Two people walked past and must have phoned the police because the next thing I knew Mark had legged it and I'm speaking to the boys in blue.
Being drunk I wasn't too bothered by this, I thought I'll talk my way out easy. They had other ideas. I found myself in an office with the police going through my bag. I thought what a fucking cheek, and said so with the bravado of a bottle of vodka in me.
Now my bag is more of a suitcase with everything but the kitchen sink in it and boy oh boy did I leap out of the chair when they found my half bottle stashed at the bottom .. before they could move, I'd snatched it, opened it, and gulped down what was left, which annoyed them even more. That's when I found myself stuck in a vile dirty cell with fags but no lighter, how cruel is that?!
To be continued.
Armed Robbery
This is a tale of misunderstandings, some funny, some not, especially for the innocents dragged into something they had no control of.
First up, the amusing part.
At one of my many stints in rehab for alcoholism my eye caught a new guy, I thought mm he's not bad. In the therapy groups I liked his voice, liked what he said and we got to know each other. I gave him a lift one day as I came upon him walking towards the unit, he said 'this is the first time I've been in a car without a blanket over my head'. He gave the impression of being 'Jack the Lad' but underneath he was very unsure of himself and had massive self esteem issues.
I asked what he meant and he said he'd just been released after serving time for armed robbery. He was living in a hostel at the time.
Anyway over the days we talked and in coffee times he did the telegraph crossword while I wandered off to get my daily pennies for the petrol used in getting to the unit. One time I came back and he passed me a note. It said 'give me your money, I've got a gun under the paper' .. we both laughed and I tucked it into my handbag as a rather silly memento.
One time he showed me a diagram of a bank in London, the vaults, where he'd worked as an electrician for a short time, most of his jobs where short term as his drinking always came first. I kept that too, as we were getting serious and I'm a one for keeping little bits and pieces.
At the time I was having a brief time off drink, but he was smoking hash and I'd give him lifts to do his deals, all very exciting for a boring working class mother. I know now it's not exciting at all.
We were both broken people, but he was nice, and we ended up living together. I honestly thought we'd never drink again, I was happy after the misery of my divorce and really thought this was for keeps.
To be continued.
First up, the amusing part.
At one of my many stints in rehab for alcoholism my eye caught a new guy, I thought mm he's not bad. In the therapy groups I liked his voice, liked what he said and we got to know each other. I gave him a lift one day as I came upon him walking towards the unit, he said 'this is the first time I've been in a car without a blanket over my head'. He gave the impression of being 'Jack the Lad' but underneath he was very unsure of himself and had massive self esteem issues.
I asked what he meant and he said he'd just been released after serving time for armed robbery. He was living in a hostel at the time.
Anyway over the days we talked and in coffee times he did the telegraph crossword while I wandered off to get my daily pennies for the petrol used in getting to the unit. One time I came back and he passed me a note. It said 'give me your money, I've got a gun under the paper' .. we both laughed and I tucked it into my handbag as a rather silly memento.
One time he showed me a diagram of a bank in London, the vaults, where he'd worked as an electrician for a short time, most of his jobs where short term as his drinking always came first. I kept that too, as we were getting serious and I'm a one for keeping little bits and pieces.
At the time I was having a brief time off drink, but he was smoking hash and I'd give him lifts to do his deals, all very exciting for a boring working class mother. I know now it's not exciting at all.
We were both broken people, but he was nice, and we ended up living together. I honestly thought we'd never drink again, I was happy after the misery of my divorce and really thought this was for keeps.
To be continued.
Sunday, 29 January 2012
Horoscope
This is my horoscope from Twittascope.
Bearing in mind I'm agoraphobic!
You don't need to conform to other people's narrow expectations just because they assume that you're a homebody. Be adventurous and surprise everyone today by impulsively heading out to do something exciting on your own without discussing your plans with anyone else. You don't have to give lengthy rationalizations or seek approval for your decisions; just spread your wings and fly on your own for a while.
Edited 5th February.
Why that horoscope hit me in the face was at that moment I was debating if I could leave the house and get to my daughters to see her and her babies, big girls they tell me now, before they left for Ibiza in the morning.
The answer was I could and I did! And so glad I did, so where they, and so surprised but really happy we all had another chance to say goodbye. Lots of tears and hugs but thankful I took the chance and was able to get the hugs in person. Miss them so much now.
Bearing in mind I'm agoraphobic!
You don't need to conform to other people's narrow expectations just because they assume that you're a homebody. Be adventurous and surprise everyone today by impulsively heading out to do something exciting on your own without discussing your plans with anyone else. You don't have to give lengthy rationalizations or seek approval for your decisions; just spread your wings and fly on your own for a while.
Edited 5th February.
Why that horoscope hit me in the face was at that moment I was debating if I could leave the house and get to my daughters to see her and her babies, big girls they tell me now, before they left for Ibiza in the morning.
The answer was I could and I did! And so glad I did, so where they, and so surprised but really happy we all had another chance to say goodbye. Lots of tears and hugs but thankful I took the chance and was able to get the hugs in person. Miss them so much now.
Thursday, 26 January 2012
My Wife's Wedding Dress - Mike Gunn
I knew I'd start filling up my new YouTube channel .. this is funny though. Follow him at @MikeGunn1 on twitter.
Wednesday, 25 January 2012
Overcoming Drug Addiction: Darren's Recovery Story
An inspiring and positive story of kicking addiction. Follow him at @DMussell on twitter.
The Alcohol & Drug Service (ADS) has been transforming lives for more than 25 years. Here is one true story about Darren, a young man from Grimsby, who has battled back from addictions to drugs to reclaim his life and rebuild relationships with family.
The Alcohol & Drug Service (ADS) has been transforming lives for more than 25 years. Here is one true story about Darren, a young man from Grimsby, who has battled back from addictions to drugs to reclaim his life and rebuild relationships with family.
Saturday, 21 January 2012
FDA Finally Admits Chicken Meat Contains Cancer-Causing Arsenic
FDA Finally Admits Chicken Meat Contains Cancer-Causing Arsenic
After years of sweeping the issue under the rug and hoping no one would notice, the FDA has now finally admitted that chicken meat sold in the USA contains arsenic, a cancer-causing toxic chemical that’s fatal in high doses.
But the real story is where this arsenic comes from:It’s added to the chicken feed on purpose!
But the real story is where this arsenic comes from:It’s added to the chicken feed on purpose!
Even worse, the FDA says its own research shows that the arsenic added to the chicken feed ends up in the chicken meat where it is consumed by humans. So for the last sixty years, American consumers who eat conventional chicken have been swallowing arsenic, a known cancer-causing chemical. (http://www.phillyburbs.com/news/loc…)
Until this new study, both the poultry industry and the FDA denied that arsenic fed to chickensended up in their meat. The fairytale excuse story we’ve all been fed for sixty years is that “the arsenic is excreted in the chicken feces.” There’s no scientific basis for making such a claim… it’s just what the poultry industry wanted everybody to believe.
But now the evidence is so undeniable that the manufacturer of the chicken feed product known as Roxarsone has decided to pull the product off the shelves (http://www.grist.org/food-safety/20…). And what’s the name of this manufacturer that has been putting arsenic in the chicken feed for all these years? Pfizer, of course — the very same company that makes vaccines containing chemical adjuvants that are injected into children.
Technically, the company making the Roxarsone chicken feed is a subsidiary of Pfizer, calledAlpharma LLC. Even though Alpharma now has agreed to pull this toxic feed chemical off the shelves in the United States, it says it won’t necessarily remove it from feed products in other countries unless it is forced by regulators to do so. As reported by AP:
Honeybee problem nearing a ‘critical point'
“We are inching our way toward a critical tipping point,” said Steve Ellis, secretary of the National Honey Bee Advisory Board (NHBAB) and a beekeeper for 35 years. Last year he had so many abnormal bee die-offs that he’ll qualify for disaster relief from the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA).
Beekeepers have already teamed up with groups representing the almond and blueberry industries — both of which depend on honey bee pollination — to tackle the need for education among farmers. “A lot of [farm groups] are recognizing that we need more resources devoted to pollinator protection,” Ellis said. “We need that same level of commitment on a national basis, from our USDA and EPA and the agricultural chemical industry.”
Unfortunately, it was the EPA itself that green-lit clothianidin and other neonics for commercial use, despite its own scientists’ clear warnings about the chemicals’ effects on bees and other pollinators. That doesn’t bode well for the chances of getting neonics off the market now, even in light of the Purdue study’s findings.
Unfortunately, it was the EPA itself that green-lit clothianidin and other neonics for commercial use, despite its own scientists’ clear warnings about the chemicals’ effects on bees and other pollinators. That doesn’t bode well for the chances of getting neonics off the market now, even in light of the Purdue study’s findings.
Saturday, 14 January 2012
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Poison in Vaccine’s
Read what they think here!
Not sure I know what to think about this. I'm inclined to believe that vaccine's aren't as good as they say, especially the flu ones.
The medical claims that vaccines are the reason for the elimination of small pox, cow pox, rabies, polio, measles, mumps, and other epidemics are simply lies. In every case, the elimination of disease epidemics were a result in a change in lifestyle.
The vaccines were often introduced to the public once the epidemic was under control. Case in point is polio. In 1955 when Jonas Salk introduced his vaccine for polio it was deemed a success despite 10 deaths and 200 people paralyzed as a result of the shot. To accept that a small amount of poison has to be injected into your bloodstream in order for you to gain immunity from a viral response by the body has to be such utter nonsense that human beings will accept anything as truth. Nonetheless, it’s brilliant for the pharmaceutical industry.
Not sure I know what to think about this. I'm inclined to believe that vaccine's aren't as good as they say, especially the flu ones.
The medical claims that vaccines are the reason for the elimination of small pox, cow pox, rabies, polio, measles, mumps, and other epidemics are simply lies. In every case, the elimination of disease epidemics were a result in a change in lifestyle.
The vaccines were often introduced to the public once the epidemic was under control. Case in point is polio. In 1955 when Jonas Salk introduced his vaccine for polio it was deemed a success despite 10 deaths and 200 people paralyzed as a result of the shot. To accept that a small amount of poison has to be injected into your bloodstream in order for you to gain immunity from a viral response by the body has to be such utter nonsense that human beings will accept anything as truth. Nonetheless, it’s brilliant for the pharmaceutical industry.
The Food Industry’s A to Z of Toxic Ingredients to Avoid
People keep asking, “What ingredients should I avoid?” So here is a short list that covers all the most toxic and disease-promoting ingredients in the food supply. These are the substances causing cancer, diabetes, heart disease and leading to tens of billions of dollars in unnecessary health care costs across America (and around the world).
If you want to stay healthy and out of the hospital, read ingredients labels and make sure you avoid all these ingredients:
Saturday, 7 January 2012
I should have added ..
My grandchildren of nearly 6 and 4 and the baby of 1 have only ever seen me out of the house once in 6 years .. so it was a huge deal for them. I've missed so much .. all their little trips .. shopping .. parks and now I'm slowing emerging like a chrysalis the two girls are moving abroad, to Ibiza, at the end of January.
Can't say how sad I am, but happy for them as they will all be living with their papa and my daughter with her b/f. I will miss my little princesses.
Can't say how sad I am, but happy for them as they will all be living with their papa and my daughter with her b/f. I will miss my little princesses.
Carol Service
The second great event that year was getting to my granddaughters carol service, now this presented more problems as in the room was very small and packed, so my daughter told me.
Anyway, more trips out with counsellor, one time went to my sons, he was mega surprised to see me at the door lol .. I went to see all my children as the build up to the main event.
Anyway, again on the day, I got there, walked up the road to the school, waited in line and eventually got a seat 'right in the front' .. just where I didn't want one .. but you know .. it was fine .. and seeing my little princesses face made my year .. and I could see her pointing to her friends and pointing to me and saying 'that's my nannie'. I took loads of pics, she was in an angel costume, she sang and danced on the stage, me and her mum had tears.
My heart nearly bursted with love.
Then the whole family got together and we went to see the lights and had a coffee .. I went up in a lift omg. When the day was over, I came home to relax .. and I genuinely think I had a mini break down for the day after .. I couldn't stop crying .. not sure if it was the stress all coming out or relief .. but it sure was the best day to remember for ever.
Anyway, more trips out with counsellor, one time went to my sons, he was mega surprised to see me at the door lol .. I went to see all my children as the build up to the main event.
Anyway, again on the day, I got there, walked up the road to the school, waited in line and eventually got a seat 'right in the front' .. just where I didn't want one .. but you know .. it was fine .. and seeing my little princesses face made my year .. and I could see her pointing to her friends and pointing to me and saying 'that's my nannie'. I took loads of pics, she was in an angel costume, she sang and danced on the stage, me and her mum had tears.
My heart nearly bursted with love.
Then the whole family got together and we went to see the lights and had a coffee .. I went up in a lift omg. When the day was over, I came home to relax .. and I genuinely think I had a mini break down for the day after .. I couldn't stop crying .. not sure if it was the stress all coming out or relief .. but it sure was the best day to remember for ever.
Dunno where to begin
Rambled thoughts about to hit the page.
Last time I was here there was no way I was going to leave the house, but a year or so has passed and I've had counselling and have actually been to a couple of major events this year.
Admittedly one with my counsellor and one with my son and his girlfriend BUT that would not have been achievable before.
The first monumental event with was my youngest daughters MA graduation ceremony .. I missed her degree one and cried all day. This time I wanted to really try and get there, soo I made it a goal and me and my counsellor went out little by little .. she pushed me and I pushed myself. There were little successes and a few failures on the way. Usually me crying and panicking and wanting to go home, but THE BIG DAY WAS LOOMING and I was getting stressed.
Anyway, I got there .. I hugged my precious daughter .. I walked in to the big building, I spoke to people, I went up the stairs, and sat on the balcony seats, a big bonus, my daughter was just below me so we could wave and smile as big as the moon.
I was also near the stage, so saw her walk across and collect her very well deserved MA. This time I was crying for a happy reason .. it was one of the best times of my life that I could be there for her.
Wonderful, wonderful day!
Last time I was here there was no way I was going to leave the house, but a year or so has passed and I've had counselling and have actually been to a couple of major events this year.
Admittedly one with my counsellor and one with my son and his girlfriend BUT that would not have been achievable before.
The first monumental event with was my youngest daughters MA graduation ceremony .. I missed her degree one and cried all day. This time I wanted to really try and get there, soo I made it a goal and me and my counsellor went out little by little .. she pushed me and I pushed myself. There were little successes and a few failures on the way. Usually me crying and panicking and wanting to go home, but THE BIG DAY WAS LOOMING and I was getting stressed.
Anyway, I got there .. I hugged my precious daughter .. I walked in to the big building, I spoke to people, I went up the stairs, and sat on the balcony seats, a big bonus, my daughter was just below me so we could wave and smile as big as the moon.
I was also near the stage, so saw her walk across and collect her very well deserved MA. This time I was crying for a happy reason .. it was one of the best times of my life that I could be there for her.
Wonderful, wonderful day!
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Sunday, 1 January 2012
Long Post
The majority of posts won't be anywhere as near long as the previous one, but I wanted to write it in full to have somewhere to keep it and be able to re-read.
Blimey, been a while since I've seen this one!
Too much has happened to even start to catch up .. but maybe I will as thoughts and reminders hit me.
I'm putting this here to remind me .. I like to know the basics of stuff.
Five Minute Introduction to Buddhism
What is Buddhism?
Buddhism is a religion to about 300 million people around the world. The word comes from 'budhi', 'to awaken'. It has its origins about 2,500 years ago when Siddhartha Gotama, known as the Buddha, was himself awakened (enlightened) at the age of 35.
• Is Buddhism a Religion?
To many, Buddhism goes beyond religion and is more of a philosophy or 'way of life'. It is a philosophy because philosophy 'means love of wisdom' and the Buddhist path can be summed up as:
(1) to lead a moral life,
(2) to be mindful and aware of thoughts and actions, and
(3) to develop wisdom and understanding.
• How Can Buddhism Help Me?
Buddhism explains a purpose to life, it explains apparent injustice and inequality around the world, and it provides a code of practice or way of life that leads to true happiness.
• Why is Buddhism Becoming Popular?
Buddhism is becoming popular in western countries for a number of reasons, The first good reason is Buddhism has answers to many of the problems in modern materialistic societies. It also includes (for those who are interested) a deep understanding of the human mind (and natural therapies) which prominent psychologists around the world are now discovering to be both very advanced and effective.
• Who Was the Buddha?
Siddhartha Gotama was born into a royal family in Lumbini, now located in Nepal, in 563 BC. At 29, he realised that wealth and luxury did not guarantee happiness, so he explored the different teachings religions and philosophies of the day, to find the key to human happiness. After six years of study and meditation he finally found 'the middle path' and was enlightened. After enlightenment, the Buddha spent the rest of his life teaching the principles of Buddhism — called the Dhamma, or Truth — until his death at the age of 80.
• Was the Buddha a God?
He was not, nor did he claim to be. He was a man who taught a path to enlightenment from his own experience.
• Do Buddhists Worship Idols?
Buddhists sometimes pay respect to images of the Buddha, not in worship, nor to ask for favours. A statue of the Buddha with hands rested gently in its lap and a compassionate smile reminds us to strive to develop peace and love within ourselves. Bowing to the statue is an expression of gratitude for the teaching.
• Why are so Many Buddhist Countries Poor?
One of the Buddhist teachings is that wealth does not guarantee happiness and also wealth is impermanent. The people of every country suffer whether rich or poor, but those who understand Buddhist teachings can find true happiness.
• Are There Different Types of Buddhism?
There are many different types of Buddhism, because the emphasis changes from country to country due to customs and culture. What does not vary is the essence of the teaching — the Dhamma or truth.
• Are Other Religions Wrong?
Buddhism is also a belief system which is tolerant of all other beliefs or religions. Buddhism agrees with the moral teachings of other religions but Buddhism goes further by providing a long term purpose within our existence, through wisdom and true understanding. Real Buddhism is very tolerant and not concerned with labels like 'Christian', 'Moslem', 'Hindu' or 'Buddhist'; that is why there have never been any wars fought in the name of Buddhism. That is why Buddhists do not preach and try to convert, only explain if an explanation is sought.
• Is Buddhism Scientific?
Science is knowledge which can be made into a system, which depends upon seeing and testing facts and stating general natural laws. The core of Buddhism fit into this definition, because the Four Noble truths (see below) can be tested and proven by anyone in fact the Buddha himself asked his followers to test the teaching rather than accept his word as true. Buddhism depends more on understanding than faith.
• What did the Buddha Teach?
The Buddha taught many things, but the basic concepts in Buddhism can be summed up by the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path.
• What is the First Noble Truth?
The first truth is that life is suffering i.e., life includes pain, getting old, disease, and ultimately death. We also endure psychological suffering like loneliness frustration, fear, embarrassment, disappointment and anger. This is an irrefutable fact that cannot be denied. It is realistic rather than pessimistic because pessimism is expecting things to be bad. lnstead, Buddhism explains how suffering can be avoided and how we can be truly happy.
• What is the Second Noble Truth?
The second truth is that suffering is caused by craving and aversion. We will suffer if we expect other people to conform to our expectation, if we want others to like us, if we do not get something we want,etc. In other words, getting what you want does not guarantee happiness. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness. A lifetime of wanting and craving and especially the craving to continue to exist, creates a powerful energy which causes the individual to be born. So craving leads to physical suffering because it causes us to be reborn.
• What is the Third Noble Truth?
The third truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness can be attained; that true happiness and contentment are possible. lf we give up useless craving and learn to live each day at a time (not dwelling in the past or the imagined future) then we can become happy and free. We then have more time and energy to help others. This is Nirvana.
• What is the Fourth Noble Truth?
The fourth truth is that the Noble 8-fold Path is the path which leads to the end of suffering.
• What is the Noble 8-Fold Path?
In summary, the Noble 8-fold Path is being moral (through what we say, do and our livelihood), focussing the mind on being fully aware of our thoughts and actions, and developing wisdom by understanding the Four Noble Truths and by developing compassion for others.
• What are the 5 Precepts?
The moral code within Buddhism is the precepts, of which the main five are: not to take the life of anything living, not to take anything not freely given, to abstain from sexual misconduct and sensual overindulgence, to refrain from untrue speech, and to avoid intoxication, that is, losing mindfulness.
• What is Karma?
Karma is the law that every cause has an effect, i.e., our actions have results. This simple law explains a number of things: inequality in the world, why some are born handicapped and some gifted, why some live only a short life. Karma underlines the importance of all individuals being responsible for their past and present actions. How can we test the karmic effect of our actions? The answer is summed up by looking at (1) the intention behind the action, (2) effects of the action on oneself, and (3) the effects on others.
• What is Wisdom?
Buddhism teaches that wisdom should be developed with compassion. At one extreme, you could be a goodhearted fool and at the other extreme, you could attain knowledge without any emotion. Buddhism uses the middle path to develop both. The highest wisdom is seeing that in reality, all phenomena are incomplete, impermanent and do no constitute a fixed entity. True wisdom is not simply believing what we are told but instead experiencing and understanding truth and reality. Wisdom requires an open, objective, unbigoted mind. The Buddhist path requires courage, patience, flexibility and intelligence.
• What is Compassion?
Compassion includes qualities of sharing, readiness to give comfort, sympathy, concern, caring. In Buddhism, we can really understand others, when we can really understand ourselves, through wisdom.
• How do I Become a Buddhist?
Buddhist teachings can be understood and tested by anyone. Buddhism teaches that the solutions to our problems are within ourselves not outside. The Buddha asked all his followers not to take his word as true, but rather to test the teachings for themselves. ln this way, each person decides for themselves and takes responsibility for their own actions and understanding. This makes Buddhism less of a fixed package of beliefs which is to be accepted in its entirety, and more of a teaching which each person learns and uses in their own way.
I'm putting this here to remind me .. I like to know the basics of stuff.
Five Minute Introduction to Buddhism
What is Buddhism?
Buddhism is a religion to about 300 million people around the world. The word comes from 'budhi', 'to awaken'. It has its origins about 2,500 years ago when Siddhartha Gotama, known as the Buddha, was himself awakened (enlightened) at the age of 35.
• Is Buddhism a Religion?
To many, Buddhism goes beyond religion and is more of a philosophy or 'way of life'. It is a philosophy because philosophy 'means love of wisdom' and the Buddhist path can be summed up as:
(1) to lead a moral life,
(2) to be mindful and aware of thoughts and actions, and
(3) to develop wisdom and understanding.
• How Can Buddhism Help Me?
Buddhism explains a purpose to life, it explains apparent injustice and inequality around the world, and it provides a code of practice or way of life that leads to true happiness.
• Why is Buddhism Becoming Popular?
Buddhism is becoming popular in western countries for a number of reasons, The first good reason is Buddhism has answers to many of the problems in modern materialistic societies. It also includes (for those who are interested) a deep understanding of the human mind (and natural therapies) which prominent psychologists around the world are now discovering to be both very advanced and effective.
• Who Was the Buddha?
Siddhartha Gotama was born into a royal family in Lumbini, now located in Nepal, in 563 BC. At 29, he realised that wealth and luxury did not guarantee happiness, so he explored the different teachings religions and philosophies of the day, to find the key to human happiness. After six years of study and meditation he finally found 'the middle path' and was enlightened. After enlightenment, the Buddha spent the rest of his life teaching the principles of Buddhism — called the Dhamma, or Truth — until his death at the age of 80.
• Was the Buddha a God?
He was not, nor did he claim to be. He was a man who taught a path to enlightenment from his own experience.
• Do Buddhists Worship Idols?
Buddhists sometimes pay respect to images of the Buddha, not in worship, nor to ask for favours. A statue of the Buddha with hands rested gently in its lap and a compassionate smile reminds us to strive to develop peace and love within ourselves. Bowing to the statue is an expression of gratitude for the teaching.
• Why are so Many Buddhist Countries Poor?
One of the Buddhist teachings is that wealth does not guarantee happiness and also wealth is impermanent. The people of every country suffer whether rich or poor, but those who understand Buddhist teachings can find true happiness.
• Are There Different Types of Buddhism?
There are many different types of Buddhism, because the emphasis changes from country to country due to customs and culture. What does not vary is the essence of the teaching — the Dhamma or truth.
• Are Other Religions Wrong?
Buddhism is also a belief system which is tolerant of all other beliefs or religions. Buddhism agrees with the moral teachings of other religions but Buddhism goes further by providing a long term purpose within our existence, through wisdom and true understanding. Real Buddhism is very tolerant and not concerned with labels like 'Christian', 'Moslem', 'Hindu' or 'Buddhist'; that is why there have never been any wars fought in the name of Buddhism. That is why Buddhists do not preach and try to convert, only explain if an explanation is sought.
• Is Buddhism Scientific?
Science is knowledge which can be made into a system, which depends upon seeing and testing facts and stating general natural laws. The core of Buddhism fit into this definition, because the Four Noble truths (see below) can be tested and proven by anyone in fact the Buddha himself asked his followers to test the teaching rather than accept his word as true. Buddhism depends more on understanding than faith.
• What did the Buddha Teach?
The Buddha taught many things, but the basic concepts in Buddhism can be summed up by the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path.
• What is the First Noble Truth?
The first truth is that life is suffering i.e., life includes pain, getting old, disease, and ultimately death. We also endure psychological suffering like loneliness frustration, fear, embarrassment, disappointment and anger. This is an irrefutable fact that cannot be denied. It is realistic rather than pessimistic because pessimism is expecting things to be bad. lnstead, Buddhism explains how suffering can be avoided and how we can be truly happy.
• What is the Second Noble Truth?
The second truth is that suffering is caused by craving and aversion. We will suffer if we expect other people to conform to our expectation, if we want others to like us, if we do not get something we want,etc. In other words, getting what you want does not guarantee happiness. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness. A lifetime of wanting and craving and especially the craving to continue to exist, creates a powerful energy which causes the individual to be born. So craving leads to physical suffering because it causes us to be reborn.
• What is the Third Noble Truth?
The third truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness can be attained; that true happiness and contentment are possible. lf we give up useless craving and learn to live each day at a time (not dwelling in the past or the imagined future) then we can become happy and free. We then have more time and energy to help others. This is Nirvana.
• What is the Fourth Noble Truth?
The fourth truth is that the Noble 8-fold Path is the path which leads to the end of suffering.
• What is the Noble 8-Fold Path?
In summary, the Noble 8-fold Path is being moral (through what we say, do and our livelihood), focussing the mind on being fully aware of our thoughts and actions, and developing wisdom by understanding the Four Noble Truths and by developing compassion for others.
• What are the 5 Precepts?
The moral code within Buddhism is the precepts, of which the main five are: not to take the life of anything living, not to take anything not freely given, to abstain from sexual misconduct and sensual overindulgence, to refrain from untrue speech, and to avoid intoxication, that is, losing mindfulness.
• What is Karma?
Karma is the law that every cause has an effect, i.e., our actions have results. This simple law explains a number of things: inequality in the world, why some are born handicapped and some gifted, why some live only a short life. Karma underlines the importance of all individuals being responsible for their past and present actions. How can we test the karmic effect of our actions? The answer is summed up by looking at (1) the intention behind the action, (2) effects of the action on oneself, and (3) the effects on others.
• What is Wisdom?
Buddhism teaches that wisdom should be developed with compassion. At one extreme, you could be a goodhearted fool and at the other extreme, you could attain knowledge without any emotion. Buddhism uses the middle path to develop both. The highest wisdom is seeing that in reality, all phenomena are incomplete, impermanent and do no constitute a fixed entity. True wisdom is not simply believing what we are told but instead experiencing and understanding truth and reality. Wisdom requires an open, objective, unbigoted mind. The Buddhist path requires courage, patience, flexibility and intelligence.
• What is Compassion?
Compassion includes qualities of sharing, readiness to give comfort, sympathy, concern, caring. In Buddhism, we can really understand others, when we can really understand ourselves, through wisdom.
• How do I Become a Buddhist?
Buddhist teachings can be understood and tested by anyone. Buddhism teaches that the solutions to our problems are within ourselves not outside. The Buddha asked all his followers not to take his word as true, but rather to test the teachings for themselves. ln this way, each person decides for themselves and takes responsibility for their own actions and understanding. This makes Buddhism less of a fixed package of beliefs which is to be accepted in its entirety, and more of a teaching which each person learns and uses in their own way.
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