Friday 24 September 2010

Virginia Creeper

I just love this plant, it heralds the proper start of autumn for me.  Lovely weather too, just a nip in the air, very blustery and really blew the cobwebs away.


 

 

Tuesday 21 September 2010

Excitement

A couple of days ago I felt a feeling I've not really felt in a long time.  No, not that one!

It was excitement, a feeling in my stomach I remember from long ago, sort of churning, buzzing, making me feel alive.

It might not seem very much but coming from the flatness of depression it's a huge big deal.

For years now my main feelings have been a flatness inside, or anger or sadness, but not happiness or excitement I could actually feel.  I'd say all the right things, make all the right noises for showing excitement or happiness, but inside I felt flat, nothing.

So this feeling was a major breakthrough,

I held on to it, seeing the sun outside my window, enjoying the light and shade on the leaves of the tree, gazing around the room, taking in everything in that moment.  It looked vibrant, I felt vibrant.  I just sat and felt this great new feeling for as long as it stayed.  Really feeling alive and loving it.

I'm happy I experienced it, as now I know it can happen and it will happen again.  I'm beginning to believe I'm changing, improving, getting better, thanks to my family and my counsellor.

Maybe one day soon I will get out of the house!

Saturday 18 September 2010

Time Management

My attention span and motivation are a little bit shot, so I was worrying how I'm going to cope with my upcoming course.  By sheer good luck I was reading an article by  Charlie Brooker and within it was this little gem about time management.

It's called the Pomodoro Technique  and seems straight forward, sensible and something that I can handle quite easily.  It's sort of like setting mini deadlines for yourself, and I know I work better to a deadline than some vague time in the future, as that usually means whatever job I'm trying to get done, just doesn't get done at all.

By the way Pomodoro is Italian for tomato.  Well, I didn't know that!




Francesco Cirillo created the Pomodoro Technique™ in 1992. It is now practiced by professional teams and individuals around the world. 

You need an egg timer, which is the actual Pomodoro, note pad and writing implements, they recommend pencils. You then write down tasks for the day and overall goals.  When the Pomodoro, or egg timer, rings, it heralds the end of that particular time slot and you then take a short break.

It's slightly like a time and motion study set on yourself, and we all know how much we get done with a stop watch and the beady eye of the time and motion officer watching and timing our every move.  Although this isn't really for speed, it's for focusing yourself on the job in hand, knowing you're going to have a break to do something more enjoyable at a predetermined time.  It sounds such a cool idea, and simple, as so many good ideas are.

 The basic unit of work in the Pomodoro Technique™ can be split in five simple steps:
Choose a task to be accomplished
Set the Pomodoro to 25 minutes (the Pomodoro is the timer)
Work on the task until the Pomodoro rings, then put a check on your sheet of paper
Take a short break (5 minutes is OK)
Every 4 Pomodoros take a longer break

I'm aiming to set out my task list for the day and make myself concentrate on the job in hand until I hear the break time whistle, this is really just for my studying but I can see it being useful in so many ways.

It doesn't set huge unachievable goals, the time of a pomodoro is 25 minutes, after that you take a short break. After 4 pomodoro's take a longer break of up to 30 minutes, in this way you should be totally focused on that particular task for the length of each pomodoro.

Right, off I go, I'll let you know how it goes once I've got my pomodoro up and running, in the meantime here is a summary of the method, and the whole book can be downloaded free from the site linked at the top of this post.

Summary of Pomodoro Technique     

Good luck:-)

Friday 17 September 2010

Lovely sunny day

I've woken to the most delightful blue skies and that lovely yellow orb we sometimes forget is called a sun.

So much has been happening lately, I've not had chance to sit down and contemplate, to work on myself, my vision board or my blog.

Things are coming together now and I hope to be back on track fairly soon.

My little baby granddaughter is all 'growed' up, she started big school last week, pics to follow shortly, she looks so cute but so grown up, her mummy and I both had tears, our little girl and her first big stage in life arrived at.

My son and his girlfriend are now waiting for an arrival for the beautiful nursery they have created, won't be long now, just a couple of weeks and we have another treasured member of our family to greet:-)

There have been  more mundane things happening, many phone calls for this, that and the other, many not satisfactory at all.  One being the damn washing machine, what a saga that turned out to be, and still ongoing at the moment.  I have washing stuck in there and have been told it could be up to a fortnight for the complaints department to get back to me.  Apparently no one, not even the staff on the phone can contact them directly, they have to send a note, I'm absolutely livid, a fact they are very much aware of.

I've got my last study assignment to complete, must get on with that today, lazy frog that I am, before making a proper start on my new course.

Oh well, now I've put off doing anything sensible for a few minutes, I'd better get on with it.  I will report back with pics and updates later.

Oh yeah, lets move it frog!!

Friday 10 September 2010

New follower

Another one for my wall of fame.  A quick post as I'm waiting for the washing machine repair man.

@DaveTwentyman  gave into my offer of tea in bed and washed socks and jumped at following me, well not jumped, maybe sort of veered in my direction, but I caught him quick, and added him to my wall of fame, and here he is!


Just above the other lovely guy from the talent capital of the United Kingdom.  I love Liverpool, and most points north of Manchester I have to say.  Their warmth and wit is a joy!  and don't get me started on the sexy accents, Liverpool and Newcastle are my all time favourites, with of course some Irish mixed in.

Welcome to the wall of fame, my friends!

Thursday 9 September 2010

Meandering

As the title says this will be a meandering one, a bit like my life. Like a crazy pinball, bouncing from this to that with no rhyme or reason.

Had a lovely couple of days with my daughter and the babies, my son and his girlfriend also came over for the day.  They are expecting their first son on 10th October, can't wait:-)  My youngest came this week and stayed over. It's so lovely to see them all.

My youngest bought me a beautiful bonsai tree, pic to follow. I love it and have placed it near the Buddha she also bought me. I'm thinking of having a little shrine type place, with some orange silk material to place it all on. Must go look to see what else I need.


Isn't that just a beautiful way to bring nature indoors.  Next time you see it, it will hopefully look a little like the picture below, but with the added extra of my bonsai tree.  On a side note aren't net curtains so last century!  It's either that or clean the windows, no contest.



Having been told not to speak of washing machines, I'll just creep a little one in here and hope it's not noticed. The bloody thing is a couple of weeks old and it stopped working. Now waiting for repair guy.

Another bummer, well worse than bummer, is that I've lost my precious photo's after deleting a programme that had nothing whatsoever to do with my pics. I'm hoping my son will sort it when he comes tomorrow.

On a more positive note, my therapist seems pleased with me, even if I'm not pleased with myself. Well, to be honest, I do think I may have improved a little, but still a long way to go in some respects.

Mental issues like anxiety and phobia's just seem to take for ever to get shifted. I guess it makes sense as they took a life time to arrive. Fingers crossed for me anyway!

Oh, and my youngest has always loved James May, even before I had my twitter obsession with him, mind you, I like good looking intelligent men so you can see why I like him.

She painted him one summer, oils on canvas, she showed me the other day when I proudly exhibited @fiatpanda on my followers list.  It's a terrifically good likeness, I hope you like it, Mr May.


The green hued face could be the result of driving with Jeremy Clarkson, but it adds to the appeal, and the hat, well, it was probably Christmas and not the summer. This is why I will never write for a living, my facts get seriously distorted and evidence is non existent, although I guess the biggest drawback is lack of writing talent.  Maybe I could write for the rags, seems I have all the qualifications for that job!

I've also ordered @MikeGunn1's CD, can't wait to piss myself laughing, as it promises.  Tena Ladies at the ready!

The gardener and the window cleaner came and spruced up the outside. I always love it when the garden looks neat. I'm having a sand pit in place of the fish pond for next year when I'll have three little ones running around:-)

My vision board is one stage nearer, with cork tiles and glue ready to be afixed behind my pc where I have a little bit of bare wall. I can't bear those cork boards that hang as they never hang level and you're always putting them straight.

I needed some photo's of uplifting, awesome and inspirational people, but could only get hold of OK magazine.  Oh my, what inane rubbish they write and the celebrity colomns, well, a five year old could do better. There were a few photo's of Simon Cowell in there as you might imagine, but then I had a dream about him last night, wonder what that means?  Maybe it means he's going to imminently follow me on twitter.

Trying to drag myself back to studying, shouldn't be hard as the subject matter is my all time favourite of crime, welfare, and psychology.

Trying to keep in the 'now', throwing old guilt and bad feelings away with my general de-cluttering. It's hard to shake off years of negative thought patterns.  I've always been a 'glass half empty' kinda person, the one who believes everything bad but never the good stuff, but times they are a changing, oh yeah, and I'm going to get there.

err hopefully!

PS, don't forget to feed the fish!

Saturday 4 September 2010

Vision Board

In my usual bumbling way, I've read about this vision board and the ideas behind it, which seem to come from the law of attraction theory, and I'm going to give it a try.

It seems to be about what you give out to the universe is what you get back, thus you give out positivity and you get back the same.

One example of this 'law of attraction' theory can be seen here on Mudd Lavoie aka Oza Meilleur's website, where she explains the feeling of having a hundred dollar bill to spend on anything she wants.  She keeps hold of it to get those lovely spending vibes as many times per day as she wants, 'If I were to spend it on the first thing I noticed, I would receive the benefit of really feeling my financial well-being only once. But if I mentally spend the hundred dollars 20 or 30 times each day, then I receive the vibrational feeling advantage of spending two or three thousand dollars a day.'

OK, back to the board.  On the law of attraction site they call it an attraction board, but I guess it's much the same.  It gives focus and aim to your wants and desires that you can see every day, depicted in pretty pictures and words.  The things on the board are what you want from the universe. They won't just appear but have to be worked for, and this is where the board comes in.

It gives you daily visual messages to bolster up your motivation and keep you on that long road to getting what you want.  My main pictures will be of my family as being able to go see them in their homes is my number one aim. After that it will be other people who inspire me in various ways. Perhaps they are fit and full of live, positive thinkers, or just all round good eggs and make me smile to think of them.  

There will be many words and pictures that mean things to me personally. I will leave space so I can add more and more as they come to me.  It will be full of positive vibes and I can't help but get motivated to give out to the universe what I so much want back.

Starting today, oh yeah crazy frog is a positive thinker now baby!!

Thursday 2 September 2010

Self Actualization

Maslow (1954), believed that man has a natural drive to healthiness, or self actualization. He believed that man has basic, (biological and psychological) needs that have to be fulfilled in order to be free enough to feel the desire for the higher levels of realization. He also believed that the organism has the natural, unconscious and innate capacity to seek its needs. (Maslow 1968)


In other words, man has an internal, natural, drive to become the best possible person he can be.

Maslow has made a case for natural, human goodness. Man is basically good, not evil, he has the capacity to be an efficient, healthy and happy person. But he must nurture the capacity with awareness, honesty, introspection and maintain his freedom: to freely respond to internal and external events (values), to be himself at all costs.

 EIGHT WAYS TO SELF ACTUALIZE

1 Experience things fully, vividly, selflessly. Throw yourself into the experiencing of something: concentrate on it fully, let it totally absorb you.

2 Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth): Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.


3 Let the self emerge. Try to shut out the external clues as to what you should think, feel, say, and so on, and let your experience enable you to say what you truly feel.


4 When in doubt, be honest. If you look into yourself and are honest, you will also take responsibility. Taking responsibility is self-actualizing.


5 Listen to your own tastes. Be prepared to be unpopular.


6 Use your intelligence, work to do well the things you want to do, no matter how insignificant they seem to be.


7 Make peak experiencing more likely: get rid of illusions and false notions. Learn what you are good at and what your potentialities are not.

8 Find out who you are, what you are, what you like and don't like, what is good and what is bad for you, where you are going, what your mission is. Opening yourself up to yourself in this way means identifying defenses--and then finding the courage to give them up.


Maslow 

Autumn coming

Had such a lovely couple of days with my daughter and granddaughters.  The girls are aged 2 and 4 and huge bundles of inexhaustible energy.  We had lots of fun in the garden, finding snail shells, sometimes with snail intact.  Why do they always want to touch the squishy bit? Yeuk.  They took an old walking stick and completely cleared the garden of cobwebs, another of my pet hates, can't stand being near spiders or webs.

Here they are in action:-)



They were very intrigued with the grass seed and I have to give them regular updates now as to how it's getting on.  In Spain they get huge paella parties, water parks, swimming, boats, fishing and caves.  They come to me and they get to watch grass grow!  Lets hope for a sunny September and lots more garden fun before winter sets in.

I love autumn, and here's a photo of the end of summer, with the buddleia and beginning of autumn with the berries coming out on the pyracantha and the virginia creeper still green but promising to be a beautiful show of reds and golds in the very near future.


Great days!!

Wednesday 1 September 2010

Zen

Words I like to think about.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.

Guatama Buddha

Sitting peacefully doing nothing
Spring comes
and the grass grows all by itself.

Lao Tzu

If you understand, things are just as they are;
if you do not understand, things are just as they are.


Before enlightenment, I chopped wood and carried water.
After enlightenment, I chopped wood and carried water.


Consider the trees which allow the birds to perch and fly away
without either inviting them to stay or desiring them
never to depart. If your heart can be like this,
you will be near to the way.

Zen sayings

Tuesday 31 August 2010

I love James May

Lots more to follow on this but my family are here now and I have to go.  

I'm  back to tell you the whole story about this James May guy. He's actually got a twitter account in the name of @fiatpanda in which he denies he's James May, he says he's Mames Jay, well, seems a funny thing to me to have a twitter account not in the name of James May but then have 'I'm not James May, I'm Mames Jay' all over the background of your page, and a blog stating the same thing. Why would people think he was James May in the first place if he hadn't written that?

I guess I could try and go back to his first tweet, if they're kept that long, but so far I haven't tried.  I've gone back a little way to see if there's any clues I can jump on and retweet back to him, saying 'yeah baby, look, you must be James May, look here what you said!  Sadly so far I can't find any clues.

He's got 10 thousand followers and you don't get that many unless you are indeed someone, but then another twitterer told me they follow a 'celeb' who has the same amount and they also are fake.  That kind of baffled me, why would people follow a fake unless the fake was interesting enough in their own right to follow even if not a celebrity.

This will be the case with James May I think, if he really does turn out not to be James May, then I will continue to follow him as he's a funny guy and a great writer, from the few blog posts I've read and his very witty tweets.  He must be a professional writer at the very least, but for now I'm content he is, in fact, James May!

I've followed him for a long while and I'm what calls a 'denier', which basically means I'm a bit stupid and gullible, but I can't help it, no, I can't.  I've read his blog and I see some people have left comments agreeing that he's not James May.  I, though, will still live the dream.

Anyway, yesterday we had a long twitter conversation about pooing in space, mothers, and the fact he wasn't James May, and the upshot was I asked him to follow me, he said not if I kept banging on about washing machines, which made me laugh, to think of the great man reading about my mundane rubbish.

I promised to desist on washing machine talk and lo and behold he gave me a 48 hour trial period and then followed me!!!

I was so excited and have page printed the fact and offer it here as proof.  In fact, when I had a message to my email stating that Mames Jay was following me it also said Stephen Fry was following me!  I rushed back to twitter, scanned through my followers and it was indeed so.  I don't know how I missed this but it was back in the day when the blog was about higher education, so thank you Stephen for following me, and his is a verified account.  He does follow a lot of people though but this has my celeb count of followers up to a mighty 3!!

And here is the proof, Mames Jay/James May nestled between two strange random followers!


PS.  At least we now know who the Stig is for sure.

Edited to add I have looked round the @BBC_TopGear page on twitter and they do indeed out him as not being James May but with all the stuff surrounding the Stig, I guess I'm not paying too much mind to that.

Lazy cook

I have to admit I'm a very lazy cook, but these recipes and lovely coloured photo's are making me get my cooking mojo back.

Take a look at these mouthwatering vegan dishes here at The Healthy Vegans web site.  Here's one to be going on with.


There are loads of hints, tips and sage advice for eating a healthy vegan diet.  Another one I've come across is Sweet on Veg, both packed with information and links on to other great sites.

Enjoy!

Monday 30 August 2010

10 things I'm happy about in my life

1 My family are the best, two daughters, one son, two granddaughters and one grandson on the way.  They make me proud and are the best things in my life.

2 My best friend who has stuck with me through thick and thin.

3 I haven't had a drink now in over seven years.

4 I gave up smoking in the same year.

5 I studied for and achieved a degree and a couple of diploma's.  I'm proud of that as I left school at 14 with hardly any education.

6 I've pretty much stuck to my diet, losing weight slowly but surely.

7 I've done some serious decluttering and can now see the wood for the trees.

8 This is getting hard, I might cheat and change the title to 7 positive things about me ;-)

9 I positively loathe it when technology goes wrong.

10 Nearly there, mm now, what for this one?  I'm positively going to sleep now because it's late:-)

I bet others can think up many more than that, so please have a go at thinking about your own positives and maybe post them here:-)

New look

This is it!  This is the new look and this is how it will stay.  I'm not totally happy with it, but it took me hours to get it right.  I had to go into the html but to change the colour on the linked text, and html is not a happy place for me to be.

I eventually did it, and I'm not going to chance it going wrong again, so this is it.  The yellow for the text I want highlighted looks pretty anyway.

On an even more mundane front, my brand new washing machine stopped spinning, I tried everything, even looked at the manual, even though I have had washing machines for more years than I care to think about.

Eventually I had to give up and phone the help desk.  This is where it gets scarily stupid.  I was told I can't put just a few garments in at one time, for instance, if you have one of those awful garments that toss out colour like no tomorrow and you want to wash it separately, no way!!  In my new washing machine that ain't going to happen.  I was told it has to have a certain amount of washing to counter balance the spin thing.  It's the first I've heard of this, and it's the last time I buy a cheap end of the range machine.

So now I'm doomed for ever to putting in just the exact amount of washing, not too much, not too little, just right!!

I'm just off now to see if it's done the job as I added a few more oddments to the wash just to get the one thing I wanted washed and dried.

Laters!

Ho hum

I'm rethinking the layout, font and colour of this blog.  I've been fiddling away for a few days, changing bits and pieces but I think it needs to be completely redone from scatch.

The colours aren't all changing the same, some stay red, some go puce, and some stay the same.  It's very annoying but I need to get it right before too many posts are here and it gets too much of a big job.

Right, get to it.  Hope the results are pleasing.

Sunday 29 August 2010

Nice words






Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.


Written by David Wagoner 



Desiderata

Desiderata


— written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s —


Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.


As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.


If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.


Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.


Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.


Thank you to my daughter for this one.

What a nice start to the day!

After a pretty abysmal day yesterday, I have to say today has started much better.


Well, apart from one selfish person who spoiled my nights slumbers, but put that to one side for now.


I have my first celebrity follower:-) Yes Sir, I have!! The famed stand up comic Mike Gunn no less, him who dallies with the likes of Deborah Meaden, amongst I guess, many others. We have a couple of things in common I see, pessimism being one of them, and I love a dry sense of humour. I guess the commanalities end there as he's young and famous and I'm not!


Here is proof on my growing wall of fame. Thank you Sir, you sit well here.




Settles him in the comfy seat so he can watch the wall grow.

click pic to see in big!

Find below the beginning of the awesomeness of being followed by Mike Gunn, from a slow start, building to the crashing crescendo of excitement.

I won't tell you how it really started because it puts me in a bad light lol, so we will go from when I apologised for the thing that put me in a bad light.





And then tra la tra la  .. drum beats  .. loud applause please ..


There you see!!  I told it was worth waiting for.  A particularly in depth and telling discussion between myself and Mr Mike Gunn.


I've included @Victoly as she is a star to me:-) xxx

Saturday 28 August 2010

Funny old day

Yes it has been just that.


As this is my positive blog, I've waited till I actually felt a bit more positive to write here. I have up and down days, don't we all? But my down days cause me to plunge into an abyss of anxiety, ok, a bit strong, but you get my drift.


Recently I've been feeling better overall. I suffer, and have suffered over the years, with anxiety problems, and today I felt very anxious since waking from a not very good nights sleep. I kept telling myself it was only nerves and only in my head, over and over, being positive. I kept repeating, I am a positive person, I am a positive person, and just after tea time it seemed to kick in as I have felt more calm the last few hours.


So to end the day on a positive note I did get through it, and without reaching for any medication. Yay for me!


Here's to better days to come. Yes there will be better days, how dare I even contemplate anything else!

Friday 27 August 2010

Howdy world

Well, off we go.  I'm starting another new blog, to join the others I always mean to keep up but don't.

I've decided this will be a different one, full of optimism and silliness, to make my mind change from being negative and pessimistic,  to make my mind and body DANCE as my good friend Mudd Lavoie would say:-)

Here's my first little bit of silliness.

I've saved all the lovely celeb replies I've had on twitter and I'll post them here for your gratification.  I was so thrilled to get a reply from Richard Madeley who not only replied but retweeted as well!!  The next day I was honoured to have a reply from James May and then. Duncan Bannatyne  My cup runneth over with celebs:-)

Oh you see the picture above here, that's my open road and that's where I want to be, oh yeah!!

I digress, here are the twitter pics I promised.  Ohhh the excitement!!

Starting off with .. drum roll please .. ta da  .. I give you Richard Madeley.


Next my first one, yes first one, from James May! I've had two replies from this kind sir.


and the next one


and his reply


                               
and last but by no means least is the Dragon himself Duncan Banatyne telling me most emphatically that Theo is not on twitter.



Haha, well there we go, my first post on my brand new blog.  How excited I was to get my first celeb reply in over a year on twitter:-)


Oh if you click the pics, you will see them in big, so you don't have to squint and you get full on pleasure of my famous friends. 

More silliness to come!